Breakdown of my travel day(s):

Portland to LA ~2.5 hrs

2 hr layover

LA to Seoul ~12.5 hrs

2 hr layover

Seoul to Singapore ~6 hrs

Singapore to Chennai ~4 hrs

Half hour at immigration

Taxi Chennai to Pondicherry ~3.5 hrs

= roughly 33 hours of travel! Spent reading, doodling, writing, sleeping, watching movies, eating airplane meals, meditating, sleeping, stretching, listening to music and podcasts, sleeping, staring out windows, and deeply contemplating life... The usual.

Hiccups throughout these long travel days included but we're not limited to:

- Taking the light rail to the Portland airport for the first time and ending up arriving much later than I had planned. When I saw the ticketing line I had to wait in to get my boarding pass, my heart sank. It extended beyond the cue lines and looked like it might take an hour to get through. 

- Being paged twice at the next airport as I made my way to my gate, just to find that they couldn't print my boarding passes that I would need for my connecting flights.

- Arriving into the Singapore airport delayed enough to give me measly 20 minutes to get across the entire airport before the gate closed on my final flight.

Oh the world of travel! I was quickly reminded of the emotions that come with these kinds of travel experiences, and also the choice and empowerment that is offered in them.

My theme/intention/manta as of late is TRUST. More on this later but wow did this prove to be so necessary and true to get me through the stressful travel moments.

So that line at the Portland airport? Turned out it was only about 20 minutes long, leaving me enough time to not only get through security and to my gate but to also grab some Cafe Yumm for the flight.

The printer issue? They called someone from a different desk and had them bring over my boarding passes, fresh off the press.

My seemingly impossible connection time? Nice airport employee waiting with one of those white glorified golf carts to whisk off the few of us who were delayed right to our gates. 

The choice to channel momentary trust over worry seems to be applicable in every situation. I mean I definitely had some worst case scenarios running through my mind, but I learned something here. It's okay to feel and acknowledge those, but then the challenge is in letting them go and not dwelling. Investing that worrying energy into trusting energy. Knowing it will all work out, because it has to work out.

Once I raced off my final airplane of the adventure, I was hit with the familiar dense air and within a few steps was reunited with a thin layer of humid sweat coating my entire body. Swollen feet. No toilet in sight. Mosquitos. Why am I here again?

Then the coast-hugging drive all the way down to my beloved Pondicherry dazzled my eyes. Here she was, in all her intensity and beauty. And here I was, ready to fall back under her spell. 

Hey blog, it's been a while. Guess what— Caroline is exploring again! Well, I suppose I'm always exploring, but once again I'm headed to a land far away where the people in my life may have never been. So it's time to start cueing y'all in again, for India round three.

First a quick catch up: I've spent the past year and half living and working in beautiful Bend, Oregon. Wilderness Therapy was the calling, and I answered with over 30 eight-day shifts living in the woods with people who challenged, motivated, inspired, and ultimately changed me. Tremendously. To the point where I'm out of touch with that deep, wise, inner self. A place I've had glimpses of in the last couple years but have not been immersed in. And so, India beckons. 

I had a feeling that eating dehydrated food prepared by a variety of struggling youth, relying on layers and fires for warmth, and fighting the demons of trauma and loneliness would only be sustainable up until a point. I didn't reach that point, but I'd seen others before me reach it and I knew I didn't want to reach it. And with support I announced my need to take some time away, to hit the reset button, before I was burnt out from this cathartic line of work.

So I took a hike, I listened to my gut, and tuned into my heart. Suddenly all signs pointed to Auroville. If you've followed my adventures before, you might remember how special of a place this was for me on my last visit to the Pondicherry region. I found myself encountering my soul in the most surreal way on one magical morning at the heart of the city, and I've been drawn to return ever since that fateful visit.

I could go into an extensive history lesson on Auroville here but I'd rather unfold the details as I encounter this town throughout my own experience. In the meantime, I will highly recommend a quick visit to any of these sources. My pervious visit here:  http://www.carolinexplores.com/2014/12/this-post-will-be-one-of-those-that.html

The Auroville website: http://www.auroville.org

A documentary: https://youtu.be/hU40Ba4GXjE

There are also countless videos visitors and residents have made over the years at this incredible place, so if you're interested further, they're worth a watch.

So there's the why and the where. The why has more to it which will also unfold along my journey back oversees. The when is on January 10th, starting 2017 out with a big shake-up, and hopefully staying until early April. I'm already bustling with excitement to get back to my home away from home, by way of Portland, and LA, and Seoul, and Singapore, and finally Chennai... See this why I asked for podcast recommendations! I have a feeling I'll need all this travel time to mentally prepare myself anyways.

Well my next post will be coming to you live from incredible India. Again, I'll try to maintain a consistent pattern of updating those who are interested on this platform with pictures and stories, if I'm not too immersed in the present experience at hand. 

This couldn't be possible without feeling the undying support from so many beautiful people in my life, and for that I am endlessly grateful. Maybe my words will inspire others to explore new worlds for themselves, even the hidden worlds of the inner self. 

Stay in touch with me through iMessage, email, snapchat, or telepathy!

720-939-0899

cqhager@gmail.com

carobot

~~~~~~~

With love, 

Caroline

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." 

-Alexander Supertramp, 1992

Just when I'm finally adjusting to being home, I'm packing up to leave again. Tomorrow I drive from Boulder to Salt Lake City, then SLC to Boise the following day, and straight to Bend on Sunday!

Being back in Boulder has been so strange... So much stranger than I expected. I think I generally expected it to be like any other homecoming I'd had in the past four years, but it was really weird that it was strange. If that make any sense. I just couldn't really find myself here, and that was an uneasy feeling when I think about how easily I found myself in places so unfamiliar to me for the past six months. People say that traveling changes you, and I didn't really see how I had changed until I came back. And being here has made me realize I have changed so much that I can't even trace the ways in which I am different. I just feel so wholeheartedly different.

That was part of the reverse culture shock, which may have honestly been the first time I actually understood the term culture shock. I caught myself thinking the most obscure thoughts when observing people and places here that I normally wouldn't have noticed at all. And it's refreshing but overwhelming, because I somehow have felt more lost here, at home, than I ever did in a foreign country.

I've been emotional about this, but I have also accepted that this is part of the experience as a whole. And, like everything, it is temporary.

I have been able to direct my thoughts to the good things to come in the near future. Owning my first car! Driving for three days through beautiful scenery. Time to rest and reflect. To listen to music and audiobooks, and to be still. Moving my life into a new space in beautiful Central Oregon! Being united with Eugene and all the beautiful people there. And that's all just in the next few days!

Of all the emotions running through my blood right now, the only one I can name is gratitude. I feel so grateful for everything in my life, in ways I have never experienced before. I just got a cavity filled and instead of thinking about the discomfort, my mind stayed centered on how blessed I am to even have dental care. 

I am also deeply grateful for my experiences and my successes, and even though I feel like I'm somewhat in grief now that my big journey has come to an end, I know everything I gained from being abroad will propel me towards more joy and success in my years to come. ❤️

This is my post today, this article:

http://www.salon.com/2000/03/18/why