One of the reasons I feel cut out for traveling is that I am one of those crazy people who truly loves flying. And that will be one of my main activities over the next eight months. Ever since I was little, going on an airplane was equivalent to a roller coaster or spaceship. As an "adult" I still feel a sense of childlike wonder every time I get to fly somewhere (window seat>), and I've learned that if you're open to it, every flight can be a spectacular experience with space for reflection and inspiration. 

Tonight, on a flight hugging the Gulf of Mexico, I witnessed a light show of epic proportions. With my head plastered to the small airplane window, I sat in awe of a fierce and massive lightning storm. For hours we soared along the edge of a mountain range of clouds, illuminated at random by flashing and snaking lightning bolts. The wall of clouds was cut and electrified in the most striking ways, with flashes of yellow, blue, and purple reflecting into the night. Contrastingly, a perfectly tranquil sea of stars hung above the clouds. Just as epic as the active sky dancing below, the endless starscape gave me a subtle but strong reminder that we are so infinitesimally small. And we are slowly losing our sense of wonder.

The ability to wonder is being forgotten on us as a culture. If we're wondering about a certain idea or question, we can find the answer .28 seconds later on a variety of platforms. But do we really solve anything for ourselves? Does this compilation of other people's interpretations hold truer to us than our own interpretation would be if we stayed with that sense of wonder for a bit longer? I've been challenging myself to not instantly reach for a smartphone the second I'm questioning something, because that moment of wonder is what makes us human. And that smartphone exists because of innovative moments from countless individuals before us who held onto that sense of wonder.

We tend to find ourselves in a state of wonder when we are able to feel small amongst the vastness of existence. There is something so humbling and gratifying about putting ourselves into this mindset of feeling small. Staring out across the endless ocean. Gazing deep into the night sky. Looking down on the world in all directions from a mountain summit. Or a plane. Travel in general will evoke these sensations.

I find solace in these moments because I instantaneously let go of all worries I may have been holding onto and meet my soul again in a place of appreciation for my mere existence in this life. To stand and face the most colossal and awe-inspiring moments in this world is a way to reconnect to oneself and the divinity within everything. 

So stay curious. And take a step back from your life every once in a while. Gaze longer into that scene that makes you feel small. If you feel exposed and free and afraid and rejoiced all at once then you're doing it right. 

Wake up to the sound of your fleeting heart

Wake up to the sound of your fleeting heart

When you go what you leave is a work of art

On my chest on my heart

She went out to the haze and the morning greys

She went out and got lost in a tall hedge maze

Where'd you go, where'd you go

Why'd you leave this place?

On my heart, on my face

And my love is yours but your love's not mine

So I'll go but we know I'll see you down the line

And we'll hate what we've lost but we'll love what we find

And oh I'm feeling fine, we made it to the coastline

You passed all the signs of a slow decline

You lived like your love wasn't meant for mine

Now you've gone, now you've gone

To a different lie

To a lonelier side

Here is an updated travel itinerary... definitely subject to change. Which is scary and exciting, but if you know me you know that planning is not one of my strong suits. I can hardly believe it's coming up so fast!

Dec. 2nd - Fly from Denver to Chennai

Spend 3 weeks with the FHS group in and around Pondicherry 

Dec. 29th - Meet Zach, Kyra, and Kyle in Goa

NYE in Baga!

Jan - Fly to Delhi, train to Rishikesh 

Jan. 7th–Feb. 3rd - Yoga Certification Training at Tattvaa Yoga Shala

Back to New Delhi

Feb. 8th - Meet parents in Thailand, sight-see for a couple weeks

Feb–March - N. Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Singapore 

April - Australia 

May - New Zealand

June - B.A. Argentina and Columbia with Maggie

Back to the States in late June!

This blog should be the best way to stay updated on my life abroad, but I'll also be available through my email (cqhager@gmail.com). Please let me know in the comments or via email if you have any advice or must-see stops in any of these places! Wish me luck!

WHAT IS IT YOU PLAN TO DO WITH YOUR 
ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE? - Mary Oliver

I conjure up this quote whenever I'm feeling lost because it reminds me of a few important things. That we have one life. That this life is precious and rare. And that it is wild! We did not come alive to sit in front of screens all day. We are meant to live a wild existence in a wild world. 

Our time here is limited—both our individual lives and human existence in the cosmos. And we have this one small glimpse of it all where we have the potential to understand it, improve it, and simply to enjoy it.

So what do I plan to do? Well I've gotten this question a lot, with an implication of there being only one answer, which better contain some level of monetary success. Sorry folks, but I can't provide that kind of answer right now.

I want to live a life where each day presents adventure, and challenge, and joy. I also intend to live a life filled with shared experiences of mutual growth and service. I know I'm doing a lot for myself in the next year, but really I'm doing it for us.

I do have a grasp on what some of my passions are, but I feel I would be doing our collective existence a disservice if I went into the working world aimlessly and money-focused. I'm called to spend a little more time investing in myself so that I can better invest in others upon my return. 

Even though my personality makes me resistant to change, I know I need to give myself a heavy dose of culture shock to propel me towards a deeper understanding of this world and what I can bring to it. My journey around the world will simultaneously be a journey to myself. And I can't wait to see what I find :)  Once I have gone through repeated challenges and loneliness and adventure and play, I will be much closer to knowing my truest self and sustaining that self in all that I do after. 

So what do I plan to do? I plan to live fully in each moment and to follow my bliss. I'll let you know where that takes me once I get there, but you know wherever it is, you'll find me smiling!

I'll leave you with one of my favorites...

WHAT YOU SEEK 

IS SEEKING YOU

–Rumi

oregon, you truly got the best of me. Throughout the four+ years that you took me in, I was constantly learning, growing, and finding myself, again and again. I learned the value of starting somewhere new, and making it your own. I learned how to make connections, by the hundreds. I learned the true meaning of service. And friendship. I learned about love. And loss, which confirms the love itself. And I learned about myself. My spirit. My passions. My potential.

oregon took me for a wild ride, by land and snow and rivers and roads. I experienced the peaks, and I experienced the valleys. Every adventure brought me one step closer to myself. Even though I was blessed with so many adventures over the years, I still feel that there is so much more I could do in this beautiful state. That is what makes it so hard to leave, but will also make it so natural to return. 

oregon will always bring up one central emotion for me — gratitude. I have developed such a deep appreciation for so many aspects of my time here... First and foremost, for my parents supporting my decision to move here and financially supporting my education and livelihood over four incredible years. For my “other parents” who first introduced me to this place I now call home, and who never once let me shoot for less than my potential. And for helping me attend practically every football game, giving me some of the best memories a college student could wish for and turning me into a duck fan for life. For my education and the Family & Human Services program. For my abilities. For three years of employment (a.k.a. fun) at the Outdoor Program, giving me so many skills, a family, and unleashed my passion for empowering others to get outdoors. For the beauty and pure life in every square inch of the PNW. For the sunshine! For live music and festivals and late nights. And for the most incredible friends I could have ever imagined. I feel so blessed to have had so many beautiful people cross my path and touch my life in such a profound way. I feel confident the love I share with each person I've developed a connection with will draw us together again and again. The endless support and love that has been outpoured onto me is overwhelmingly blissful, and it will carry me through all the unknowns that lie ahead of me.

And lastly, I am so grateful to this place for helping me find home. 

No matter where I go or what I do in this crazy world, I will always have oregon.