You didn't ask for it, but here are my best and worst sensations so far...
Best taste: raw veggie dosa at a health food place called "Energy Home" with papaya juice
Best smell: flowers, everywhere, especially the little white ones that fall from trees
Best touch: Lakshmi the sacred elephant
Best sight: the first view of the deep red orange sun peaking up over the ocean horizon
Best emotion: inner peace and sense of arrival
Worst taste: a loaf of bread and "cheese spread" I mistakenly bought at the grocery store
Worst smell: well describing the smell of the open sewage canal that runs through the town isn't possible because it's so much worse than just a smell, even holding your nose can not hold back its force... It seems to seep into you no matter how badly you try to run past it. Ew ew eww EW.
Worst touch: the freezing cold shower on night one before I figured out how to make the hot water come on
Worst sound: the constant and mostly unnecessary honking, especially the deafening bus foghorns RIGHT IN YOUR EAR.
Worst sight: completely uncensored dog sex in the road. Right after I arrived in India. Welcome back!
Worst emotion: guilt for not being able to give to all the beggars.
India is extreme, and it takes a lot to simply find a balance between all the extremes. I think having spent over a month here total from the past has helped me to adjust back quickly to all the stimulus. I am surprisingly not overwhelmed, not jet lagged, not stressed about money, just grateful to feel like I am finally where I need to be.
On the topic of money... This is the place to travel if you're on a tight budget. I have been keeping track of all my expenses and I have hardly payed $100 for everything so far. Including a 3 hour taxi ride, accommodation for 2 nights, all my meals, groceries, clothes, other odds and ends, and even little luxuries like coconuts and ice cream. All of that would be triple the cost, if not more, anywhere else.
And now that I have everything I need my only expenses in Auroville will be accommodation, meals, and bike rental. Around $10 a day. Am I saving money?? ;)
This blog allows me to report on all the external experiences I'm having, but there are so many internal experiences as well which are more vast and complicated to communicate. Still, I'll try, because these are the things that will ultimately have an impact on my life, and maybe yours too.
The biggest emotional challenge to solo travel is, simply put, loneliness. I'm in the most populated city I've ever spent time in and although I'm surrounded by others I am completely alone in my experience. I miss friends and family to share my thoughts and stories with, and to help me feel less vulnerable when I'm walking and dining alone. I am able to get on wifi to connect for only a couple hours a day and it's during the time when everyone is asleep anyways.
I am not complaining, I knew exactly that this is what I signed up for. And the thing is, it's not bad or wrong to feel this way... I imagine everyone does at some point, and some more than others. It is important for me to go into this space to challenge my relationship with myself. I notice so many different things about myself, my assumptions, and my surroundings when I am alone. I have a more human and more vulnerable experience which in time inspires more growth and confidence and self-love. And it is these things that I ultimately gain when I travel.
I am growing already. I am showing more confidence already. I am feeling more self-love already. And it's just the beginning.
