"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." 

-Alexander Supertramp, 1992

Just when I'm finally adjusting to being home, I'm packing up to leave again. Tomorrow I drive from Boulder to Salt Lake City, then SLC to Boise the following day, and straight to Bend on Sunday!

Being back in Boulder has been so strange... So much stranger than I expected. I think I generally expected it to be like any other homecoming I'd had in the past four years, but it was really weird that it was strange. If that make any sense. I just couldn't really find myself here, and that was an uneasy feeling when I think about how easily I found myself in places so unfamiliar to me for the past six months. People say that traveling changes you, and I didn't really see how I had changed until I came back. And being here has made me realize I have changed so much that I can't even trace the ways in which I am different. I just feel so wholeheartedly different.

That was part of the reverse culture shock, which may have honestly been the first time I actually understood the term culture shock. I caught myself thinking the most obscure thoughts when observing people and places here that I normally wouldn't have noticed at all. And it's refreshing but overwhelming, because I somehow have felt more lost here, at home, than I ever did in a foreign country.

I've been emotional about this, but I have also accepted that this is part of the experience as a whole. And, like everything, it is temporary.

I have been able to direct my thoughts to the good things to come in the near future. Owning my first car! Driving for three days through beautiful scenery. Time to rest and reflect. To listen to music and audiobooks, and to be still. Moving my life into a new space in beautiful Central Oregon! Being united with Eugene and all the beautiful people there. And that's all just in the next few days!

Of all the emotions running through my blood right now, the only one I can name is gratitude. I feel so grateful for everything in my life, in ways I have never experienced before. I just got a cavity filled and instead of thinking about the discomfort, my mind stayed centered on how blessed I am to even have dental care. 

I am also deeply grateful for my experiences and my successes, and even though I feel like I'm somewhat in grief now that my big journey has come to an end, I know everything I gained from being abroad will propel me towards more joy and success in my years to come. ❤️

This is my post today, this article:

http://www.salon.com/2000/03/18/why

After a couple quick days in Hanoi (read: Zenith), I flew over to Bangkok for another couple quick days soaking in my final Thailand moments. I got in on a Sunday and wanted to do some last minute shopping, and there is a weekend market in northern Bangkok that I heard has everything under the sun and is pretty affordable.

I walked through a park to get there after taking a shuttle right from the airport, probably looking like a zombie from the lack of sleep/heat/carrying heavy pack combo. But I bought some things I had set out for and caught a skytrain to a nice, air-conditioned hostel. I remembered then why I left Thailand... I was already missing those mild Vietnam temps! I've learned through these travels that I am not a hot-weather kinda person, unless I have a body of water or a cool room to beat the heat.

I was relaxing for a while but decided to venture around for the sunset. I was taking pictures on this major bridge and a man pulled over on his motorbike and asked me something, but I didn't understand, so he smiled and asked where I was from. I told him and he continued to say how he liked my style and repeatedly asked for my number. I eventually had to ignore him until he drove off... I was pretty shocked he just stopped on the middle of a highway to try to get my number. And I'm know it probably wasn't for the purposes of meeting up or anything—he was much older than me, and this actually happens quite a lot with foreigners—but still it gave me a weird feeling. 

I shook it off with this beautiful sunset and smiles from people walking by :)

^the wind just would not stay still for my panorama! Tehe

I got some much-needed rest that night, I had a bit of a cough that I was trying to beat before traveling. Then I woke up to my last day in Thailand! Enjoyed a mango smoothie and my classic eggs+rice+Maggi. At least I can still make that back in the States.

I ended my time there on a pretty cool experience— I went to a Buddhist temple and participated in a daily meditation. Everyone wore white or lavender and sat in rows on the floor in a long open room while a monk talked for about an hour (all in Thai, but it was still cool to be there for it). Then we did some chanting and slowly walked as we spoke certain sutras, then in silence, then we sat down and meditated for at least an hour. It was by far the largest mediation I had ever experienced, and it was a nice cherry on top of my Thailand experiences. 

And of course I had to get some pad thai off the street while I still could!

I took a water taxi back to the stop near my hostel and caught even a more beautiful sunset than the night before!

Thailand was sending me off well! In the morning I hopped on a flight to Singapore where I'd spend a couple days staying with my friend's parents! Lauren, my roommate in college, grew up in Singapore and her folks still live there, so I really wanted to make a stop there to cap off my SE Asia travels! And man was it nice to be there!! I immediately plopped down on this (REAL) bed for a nap, woke up 3 hours later so happy and comfy and rested.

Lauren's parents got back from work and we caught up over some wine (hadn't had that in a while) then we all had a nice home-cooked meal (hadn't had that in even longer!), and we even got a quick skype in with Lauren! I crawled into bed that night and literally was kicking and giggling with pure joy for being in the coziest bed I had been in for honestly six months. WOW.

I woke up to a pot of coffee and breakfast ingredients and that made me so happy too! I geared up for a full adventure day around Singapore, courtesy of some advice from the locals :)

Started in Singapore's gorgeous Botanic Gardens, where I got lost in the lush and beautifully maintained park.

Baby pineapple!

Then I took the metro to Chinatown and did some affordable gift-shopping!

Took the metro again to the next zone—Little India! The sounds and smells actually took me back to that incredible country and I found myself really, really missing it. I got a big South Indian lunch that I thoroughly enjoyed eating with my hands off a banana leaf.

From there I wandered over to Arab Street, Lauren's top recommendation, and browsed the quirky shops and drank ginger tea on the street. 

I took one last metro (I was the metro QUEEN at this point) over to Orchard Road to meet the parents for a delicious dumpling dinner at Din Tai Fung. After riding home, I got my cab booked for the morning, thanked them profusely, and tried to pack up for the last time. 

Maybe I ended up crying in the bathroom... It was hitting me. This was the end of the journey. 

But as I pulled myself together to finish packing, I realized NOPE this is nowhere near the end! I'm about to fly to some more incredibly beautiful places, with friendly faces, and if anything the journey has just begun. 

How will I ever be able to summarize everything I'm feeling about this chapter of my life? I don't ever want to, even for myself, but I have so many people who care about me and support me and I want them to know the impact this has had in me. Even though I'm not completely sure what that is yet. 

When we were in India, we talked a lot about not fully being able to understand something when you're still in it, but rather you can find meaning once you are removed from the scenario and can reflect back. There was a point in my travels when I wanted this so badly. I wasn't sure what it all meant for my life, and I wanted to teleport home so I could meet the significance. But even that would not have given me answers. All I can do is continue to live my life and allow the impact to settle as it will. And to do my best to notice it. 

My friend Ben who had similar travels worded it that his time abroad is still teaching him, "in ways I can't quite trace, and can't quite articulate"... These words have been floating around in my head since I first read them. They give me solace that this journey is more than a definitive spot on the timeline of my life, but rather a continuous force that will appear in months and years and adventures to come.

I aim to continue to keep up on my life with this blog, because the journey really is not over. Not one bit. I'm an explorer for life now, and although it is a bittersweet farewell to Asia for now, I have so much drive to continue seeking adventures in this big, beautiful world!

 When I was a lost baby freshman at the U of O, not knowing if I really belonged there, not sure if the people around me were people I wanted in my life, not knowing at all what my future held, the universe introduced me to my soul's other half—Miss Bridget Merriam. I had never met such an inspirational person, living with so much joy and passion and an addictive adventurous spirit. When I think back to our friendship at that time, we were already set on traveling and climbing and adventuring the world together. Well it took us four years from those early days, but we finally made it happen!

I caught a late flight to Bangkok from Cambodia the day before Bridget's flight arrived. I talked to her in Siem Reap the night before while she was in SF for a layover. I wouldn't see her for 24 hours from then... She had a long travel time to make it over to this side of the world.

But she made it!!! I awaited her at the airport (the sign is a joke from our favorite movie, Bridesmaids) and I can't even explain my joy for the moment when I could finally embrace this beautiful human. 

We caught up as we took the skytrain through the Bangkok skyscrapers to the hostel, where our friend Audrey was awaiting us! She was on holiday from her job in Chiang Mai and overlapped with us in BKK for a couple days :)

That night we got dressed up in an attempt to go to a fancy rooftop bar, but when we made it to one (okay it was the tallest one) we were informed that it was over 1,200 Baht (over $35 USD) to even go up to the restaurant/bar, so we opted for a cheaper option. After dinner, we all had our first Khao San Road experience. This is the craziest road in Bangkok, closed to vehicles at night, and open to bars and vendors and tattoo shops and neon lights and drinks and fried bugs and plenty of drunk white people. We grabbed road beers at a 7-11 and dared to eat a scorpion on a stick! Crunchy, freaky, and just gross... but when in Bangkok !

We were all pretty overwhelmed from the craziness, and I knew it was a lot for Bridget's first few hours on this side of the world, so we went back to the hostel for the night.

The next day, we had a yummy breakfast then met some nice fellas at the hostel who were going to a swimming pool in a park downtown and invited us along. We took a water taxi to meet them there, only to find the pool was closed. So we just wandered the park and soaked up some peace and nature.

Audrey had heard about this condom-themed restaurant for safe sex awareness, called Cabbages & Condoms ("birth control should be as accessible as vegetables in the market") so we went and tried it out. The food was incredible, and we splurged on the best dessert EVER—mango sticky rice (and ice cream). YUM.

We ran into the guys back at the hostel and went out as a big group onto Khao San Road. We went a little wild with the beers and buckets, but it made for a fun night out, and a funny hungover breakfast the following morning. We did a little exploring and shopping and relaxing that day before leaving to catch an evening flight down to Krabi. We got into Krabi Town, found a hostel and crashed for the night.

In the morning we did a little yoga on the balcony, ate a yummy breakfast, and wandered down to the pier to catch a boat to Railay. Our destination was Tonsai—a little climber's heaven, located one beach over from the resorty Railay Beach. After our boat to Railay we took another quick one over to Tonsai!

This beach is one of those picture-perfect Thai locations, with the karst towers and blue water and longtail boats, and the added attraction here is all the bronzed, fit climbers scaling the rocks all along the beach :)

We walked the path up to some bungalows where our friend Zach was staying and booked a few nights in a simple little bungalow.

We met up with Zach and another American, Kaleb, who he met there the day before (so many Americans on Tonsai!), and we clinked some beers before setting out on a little adventure. On the far side of Railay there is a steep hike up to a lagoon and viewpoint, so we went adventuring!

Zach checking out a big ol' tree on the hike-

Adventure babe on the steep descent down into the lagoon-

Found a cool roof in a cave next to the lagoon to soak it all in!

After a mud fight and a swim, we climbed back up and caught a beautiful light on the landscape from the viewpoint.

That night we met up with a couple of Kaleb's friends for dinner and pool and drinks and a little star-gazing to cap off the night. I was feeling some pain in my lower back that night but assumed by morning it would be fine... Not so much. I could hardly use my back muscles I had such intense pain. Sitting up at breakfast was hard. Finding a comfortable position laying down was hard. I attributed it to some combination of yoga and boat rides and steep hikes the day before, but the pain really was a mystery. After resting, and Tylenol and tiger balm, I gained some strength to meet up with friends at the beach to swim (which helped take a little weight off my back muscles).

That evening we headed down to the beach for a little sunset climb sesh!

Not a bad approach :) I didn't climb because I was still hurting, but I was a great cheerleader and photographer!

This place is really heaven on earth, and basically what Bridg and I had been dreaming of for years. 

Our new friends spoke so highly of a deep water soloing outing they did with Basecamp on Tonsai that Zach, Bridget, and I booked on to the next day's trip! (DWS is climbing up a rock face over a deep body of water with no ropes/protection.. yeee)

Luckily my back was starting to feel better when I woke up that day! We set out in the morning on a boat to the first climbing spot which had a traverse and a few fun routes which we got to play around on, and then there were some taller routes that these crazy Thai guides just flew up, barefoot, pausing to hold on with one hand/foot, or to do a massive jump from insane heights.. So damn impressive!  

We had such a blast, the climbing wasn't too challenging and falling in was equal parts scary and refreshing and FUN!

After that we stopped at a private beach for lunch, fresh fruit, and snorkeling! Had too much fun being goofballs with everyone 😜

The afternoon was another round of soloing at a slightly more chalenging spot with higher jumps. Bridget and I did our last jump of the day in together!

(spot the climber)

After getting back to Tonsai, we caught a motorbike cart ride back to Basecamp, and Bridget found herself a Thai boyfriend ;)

One of the coolest things about Thailand is the free fire shows every night. Our bungalows had a bar that opened up to a big sandy area lined with platforms for hanging out and hammocks and a slackline. Around 9 every night, the bar would crank up the music and the most incredible fire dancers would come out and put on an unbelievable show. They each had a different style, and the last guy to go on was honestly too talented for words. I'll never be as good at anything as he was at throwing fire!

After signing off on an adventurous and beautiful few days on Tonsai, we set sail for the island Koh Phi Phi located about 3 hours south of the mainland by boat. Kaleb is a teacher in Thailand and worked his magic to get us a discount at a nice hostel on the east end of the main beach. We took some power naps then rallied up a hike to a beautiful view over the whole island!

Dream team right dere. That night we grabbed some yummy Indian food and drinks from 7-11 and started the craziness. We played King's Cup with some girls at our hostel and proceeded to have one of the wildest night of my life! Just looking down the beach from our balcony we knew it was going to be a party. All the bars have blaring music and crazy lights and either a massive jump rope or limbo stick (sometimes on fire, of course) which all the foreigners flock to and drunkenly try to participate in. One small Thai guy limbo-ed under the pole with massive Kaleb on his lap! Haha and Bridget and I were killin it at the partner jump rope. At some point a man gave me this sweet neon body paint design on my chest and neck? Thailand...

 In the background of all of this was people dancing on platforms and fire dancers, and beyond that the ocean and fishing boats and stars! And naturally we had to go for a swim :)

After only a few hours of sleep, and a much needed breakfast (eggs and rice❤️), Bridget and I hopped on a boat for an adventure day! This was our crazy Burmese guide, he grew on us throughout the day. He also said his name was Richard... ehhh not sure about that one.

We all did a jump from this rock into the ocean. "Richard" pointed the girls to a jump spot that was shorter than the main jump spot and Bridget at I were like -yeah right- and jumped form the "guys" spot. Yee!

We stopped at Monkey Beach where Bridg was united with her soulmates!

Then we cruised over to the southern Phi Phi Island to check out Maya Beach where "The Beach" with Leonardo DiCaprio was filmed! We arrived at the same time as a rainstorm, so we huddled together on the boat and ate some lunch while we waited for the storm to roll by.

The rain scared off all the people leaving us with a beautiful unobstructed view! We also saw this massive school of fish (left side of the picture), and behind us was the start of a beautiful sunset.

Our next stop was sunset snorkeling!

Looking down, you could see beautiful fish and coral, then looking up you see this dazzling sunset... One of those -how did I get here- moments! 

But the coolest thing was yet to come—we cruised into a hidden bay after it was completely dark out so that we could see the bioluminescent plankton all around us! If you've never had the chance to do this, you have to.. it's honestly too magical to describe. I had done this once before in Mexico, and it's such an amazing and memorable phenomenon. Every time you move your arm/leg/anything underwater, thousands of these little plankton light up for a second! I grabbed some snorkel gear and watched the illumination of the people swimming from underwater... TOO COOL! 

We rode back into the bay under the stars and grabbed some subpar Western food with some friends we met on the boat. We watched the Songkran holiday slowly begin to kick off on the island. Songkran is a widely celebrated Thai holiday for the country's new year, and it is officially my new favorite holiday! Everyone celebrates by essentially having one massive water fight, and it lasts for 3-4 days in most cities! So even though it was the night before it technically began, the locals all were equipped with water guns already and were firing away. 

We went down to the beach that night to find it even more wild than the night before... There were blow up bouncy castles and mechanical bulls in addition to the normal jump roping/limboing, and everyone had caught on to the water fight memo so needless to say, we were immeditely soaked. It was so much fun though, everyone just turned into kids again, and anytime the music beat would drop, the crowd erupted with screams and water! 

The next morning we were planning on catching a 10am ferry back to Krabi, where we'd be taking an overnight bus, and even though we ran from our hostel to the pier, we missed it by a hair and had to hang around until the next one left at 1pm. But how can you be upset when you are causing so much joy for little children with squirt guns? (Plus it was a good excuse to grab a little hair-of-the-dog)

We caught our ferry and sailed through a crazy rainstorm, took a fun taxi ride to the Krabi bus station (everyone on the sides of the street were spraying and dumping buckets on the car!), and settled in to our seats for the night. The bus was even playing the new Transformers movie!!! Granted, it was all dubbed in Thai, but I was still stoked.

We pulled into somewhere in Bangkok around 4am and deliriously tried to find a decently priced taxi to the hostel. Some incredibly nice Burmese man asked us if we were headed to Khao San area, and that he was too and would share a taxi with us. He worked so hard to find us one that would take us there (it was a crazy party there that all taxis were avoiding apparently), and eventually he convinced one. Then when we got there, he insisted on paying! Such a kind act, especially in our current state. 

We made it to Born Free Hostel, where we couldn't check in until 1pm, but luckily they have a big lounge area with comfy mats and pillows, so we promptly fell asleep and dozed there on and off until the sun was well up. It was already madness outside when we made a mad dash for food. Zach, Bridget, and I bought guns and took to the madness with our pal Seb who we met the last time we were in Bangkok. We got pulled into the hoards of people and started spraying/getting sprayed like crazy. They also have a tradition where they smear a white paste made of water and chalk or flour on everyone's face. SO within minutes we were drenched and covered in this white paste, and we were lovin every second of it. Everyone really just turns into a child and we had countless fun interactions with smiley locals!

We rested that evening then started gearing up for round two. We basically wore dresses over swimsuits because we knew we'd be soaked immediately anyways. We went out on Khao San Road to find it just as crazy, if not crazier, past dark. We danced and sprayed and danced and made friends and at some point I was crowd surfing(?!!), ahah it was such a blast!

The next day we were a little low energy from the craziness so we relaxed and then took a water taxi downriver to visit the "Ghost Tower" at sunset! This skyscraper has been abandoned for years and is now an incredible spot to see all of Bangkok from, if you're up for the climb up the 50 flights of stairs.

We made it up just in time to see the sun setting!

And to enjoy a well-deserved Chang :)

We stayed up there taking it all in for a while... The sky bar with the gold dome in this picture is the roof where a scene in the Hangover 2 was filmed-

From there we caught the skytrain to an area called Silom in search of a skybar, and instead we were met with more Songkran craziness! (I love this picture of Zach haha)

When we stepped off the train, we heard loud music and screams and then saw this sea of humans, covering a six lane road for as far as you could see in either direction!

We jumped into the madness again, geting soaked and plastered all over again! We even stopped at a bar to get drinks and were sprayed at constantly there as well. After the celebrations subsided a bit, we headed back towards the hostel for the evening. 

The next day was the day I was dreading- Bridget was flying home at 11:00 that night. I went in the morning to the Vietnam Embassy to appy for my visa, and when I got back to the hostel I had a frantic message from her that her flight was actually at 11am! She missed it, but she got back from breakfast with Zach and told me she talked to the airline and she would be have to catch the next available flight back to Portland, which was 5 days later.

WHOOPS, but honestly not that whoops, because these things seem to happen for a reason. Bridget told all the people back home who she needed to about the change in her arrival, and we got to spend another 24 hours together before I was hopping on a plane to Hanoi, Vietnam.

Something that Bridget and I had been talking about since Peter's passing was getting a tattoo while we were together in Thailand. When he was there he got one, and Bridget and I have always wanted to get tattoos, so we knew it was the right thing and started brainstorming for a few months. We almost would not have gotten them if not for her missing her flight, so we spent our last day together finalizing our designs and making an appointment at BKK Tattoo off of Khao San Road. 

We decided on simple small tattoos of the paw prints of our spirit animals—a wolf for Bridget and a fox for me. Each only took about 15 minutes for the entire process, and while it was definitely painful, it almost hurt in a good way. We held hands through it all and celebrated with some drinks afterwards. 

These symbolize our friendship, our adventures, our forever wild side. And having this to look at while I dragged myself away from Bridget and Zach to catch my flight to Vietnam was possibly the only thing that enabled me to leave. Having her with me on this journey was more special and necessary and amazing than I could have ever imagined. She helped me to feel reset and motivated to live fully during these last few weeks of my travels. And now we're already planning our next destinations together! Adventure awaits us, always. Thank you Bridget, I love you ❤️❤️❤️