Just when I'm finally adjusting to being home, I'm packing up to leave again. Tomorrow I drive from Boulder to Salt Lake City, then SLC to Boise the following day, and straight to Bend on Sunday!

Being back in Boulder has been so strange... So much stranger than I expected. I think I generally expected it to be like any other homecoming I'd had in the past four years, but it was really weird that it was strange. If that make any sense. I just couldn't really find myself here, and that was an uneasy feeling when I think about how easily I found myself in places so unfamiliar to me for the past six months. People say that traveling changes you, and I didn't really see how I had changed until I came back. And being here has made me realize I have changed so much that I can't even trace the ways in which I am different. I just feel so wholeheartedly different.

That was part of the reverse culture shock, which may have honestly been the first time I actually understood the term culture shock. I caught myself thinking the most obscure thoughts when observing people and places here that I normally wouldn't have noticed at all. And it's refreshing but overwhelming, because I somehow have felt more lost here, at home, than I ever did in a foreign country.

I've been emotional about this, but I have also accepted that this is part of the experience as a whole. And, like everything, it is temporary.

I have been able to direct my thoughts to the good things to come in the near future. Owning my first car! Driving for three days through beautiful scenery. Time to rest and reflect. To listen to music and audiobooks, and to be still. Moving my life into a new space in beautiful Central Oregon! Being united with Eugene and all the beautiful people there. And that's all just in the next few days!

Of all the emotions running through my blood right now, the only one I can name is gratitude. I feel so grateful for everything in my life, in ways I have never experienced before. I just got a cavity filled and instead of thinking about the discomfort, my mind stayed centered on how blessed I am to even have dental care. 

I am also deeply grateful for my experiences and my successes, and even though I feel like I'm somewhat in grief now that my big journey has come to an end, I know everything I gained from being abroad will propel me towards more joy and success in my years to come. ❤️

This is my post today, this article:

http://www.salon.com/2000/03/18/why

After a couple quick days in Hanoi (read: Zenith), I flew over to Bangkok for another couple quick days soaking in my final Thailand moments. I got in on a Sunday and wanted to do some last minute shopping, and there is a weekend market in northern Bangkok that I heard has everything under the sun and is pretty affordable.

I walked through a park to get there after taking a shuttle right from the airport, probably looking like a zombie from the lack of sleep/heat/carrying heavy pack combo. But I bought some things I had set out for and caught a skytrain to a nice, air-conditioned hostel. I remembered then why I left Thailand... I was already missing those mild Vietnam temps! I've learned through these travels that I am not a hot-weather kinda person, unless I have a body of water or a cool room to beat the heat.

I was relaxing for a while but decided to venture around for the sunset. I was taking pictures on this major bridge and a man pulled over on his motorbike and asked me something, but I didn't understand, so he smiled and asked where I was from. I told him and he continued to say how he liked my style and repeatedly asked for my number. I eventually had to ignore him until he drove off... I was pretty shocked he just stopped on the middle of a highway to try to get my number. And I'm know it probably wasn't for the purposes of meeting up or anything—he was much older than me, and this actually happens quite a lot with foreigners—but still it gave me a weird feeling. 

I shook it off with this beautiful sunset and smiles from people walking by :)

^the wind just would not stay still for my panorama! Tehe

I got some much-needed rest that night, I had a bit of a cough that I was trying to beat before traveling. Then I woke up to my last day in Thailand! Enjoyed a mango smoothie and my classic eggs+rice+Maggi. At least I can still make that back in the States.

I ended my time there on a pretty cool experience— I went to a Buddhist temple and participated in a daily meditation. Everyone wore white or lavender and sat in rows on the floor in a long open room while a monk talked for about an hour (all in Thai, but it was still cool to be there for it). Then we did some chanting and slowly walked as we spoke certain sutras, then in silence, then we sat down and meditated for at least an hour. It was by far the largest mediation I had ever experienced, and it was a nice cherry on top of my Thailand experiences. 

And of course I had to get some pad thai off the street while I still could!

I took a water taxi back to the stop near my hostel and caught even a more beautiful sunset than the night before!

Thailand was sending me off well! In the morning I hopped on a flight to Singapore where I'd spend a couple days staying with my friend's parents! Lauren, my roommate in college, grew up in Singapore and her folks still live there, so I really wanted to make a stop there to cap off my SE Asia travels! And man was it nice to be there!! I immediately plopped down on this (REAL) bed for a nap, woke up 3 hours later so happy and comfy and rested.

Lauren's parents got back from work and we caught up over some wine (hadn't had that in a while) then we all had a nice home-cooked meal (hadn't had that in even longer!), and we even got a quick skype in with Lauren! I crawled into bed that night and literally was kicking and giggling with pure joy for being in the coziest bed I had been in for honestly six months. WOW.

I woke up to a pot of coffee and breakfast ingredients and that made me so happy too! I geared up for a full adventure day around Singapore, courtesy of some advice from the locals :)

Started in Singapore's gorgeous Botanic Gardens, where I got lost in the lush and beautifully maintained park.

Baby pineapple!

Then I took the metro to Chinatown and did some affordable gift-shopping!

Took the metro again to the next zone—Little India! The sounds and smells actually took me back to that incredible country and I found myself really, really missing it. I got a big South Indian lunch that I thoroughly enjoyed eating with my hands off a banana leaf.

From there I wandered over to Arab Street, Lauren's top recommendation, and browsed the quirky shops and drank ginger tea on the street. 

I took one last metro (I was the metro QUEEN at this point) over to Orchard Road to meet the parents for a delicious dumpling dinner at Din Tai Fung. After riding home, I got my cab booked for the morning, thanked them profusely, and tried to pack up for the last time. 

Maybe I ended up crying in the bathroom... It was hitting me. This was the end of the journey. 

But as I pulled myself together to finish packing, I realized NOPE this is nowhere near the end! I'm about to fly to some more incredibly beautiful places, with friendly faces, and if anything the journey has just begun. 

How will I ever be able to summarize everything I'm feeling about this chapter of my life? I don't ever want to, even for myself, but I have so many people who care about me and support me and I want them to know the impact this has had in me. Even though I'm not completely sure what that is yet. 

When we were in India, we talked a lot about not fully being able to understand something when you're still in it, but rather you can find meaning once you are removed from the scenario and can reflect back. There was a point in my travels when I wanted this so badly. I wasn't sure what it all meant for my life, and I wanted to teleport home so I could meet the significance. But even that would not have given me answers. All I can do is continue to live my life and allow the impact to settle as it will. And to do my best to notice it. 

My friend Ben who had similar travels worded it that his time abroad is still teaching him, "in ways I can't quite trace, and can't quite articulate"... These words have been floating around in my head since I first read them. They give me solace that this journey is more than a definitive spot on the timeline of my life, but rather a continuous force that will appear in months and years and adventures to come.

I aim to continue to keep up on my life with this blog, because the journey really is not over. Not one bit. I'm an explorer for life now, and although it is a bittersweet farewell to Asia for now, I have so much drive to continue seeking adventures in this big, beautiful world!